quote unquote

I have added two new quotes to my facebook page recently.

1.) "When Dealing With People, Remember You Are Not Dealing With Creatures Of Logic, But Creatures Of Emotion"

I read this one today and it hit a cord in me. I tend to consider myself a pretty logical person. But the truth is that behind all the logic i really am a creature of emotion. I can "realize" why things are happening they way they are but in the moment all that knowledge is shot and i'm reduced to my emotions. More over, a lack of sleep or eating tend to decrease my ability to be logical.

2.) "There is a little bit of truth behind every just kidding; a little bit of curiosity behind every just wondering; a little bit of knowledge behind every I don’t know; and a little bit of emotion behind every I don’t care."

This one i just think is sooo true. Just something to think about next time someone says "i don't care" and or next time you find yourself saying you are "kidding". People are insecure and may hid behind phrases like these. Especially if they are being emotional rather than logical.

its a bird... its a plane... nope its a blog!

Research has shown that there are two things that are significant in how successfully someone can learn something. be it in a class at school, at church or just a life lesson from our everyday experience. These two things are 1) a desire to learn and 2) an opportunity to reflect on the experience. I think the second one is HUGE! I was so thrilled to hear that research supports my love of blogging. I like to blog about what i think and what happens to me... and now i know that is beneficial for my learning! and heck, i'm all about learning those life lessons God has sent me here to learn.

That being said, I've been generating quite a few blogs over the last week or so. Unfortunately I haven't had the chance to write them out as soon as i thought about them. And now I'm worried they will be less interesting. Since time has passed and I'm not as enthusiastic about it all, ya know? But... I still want to reflect and write about them all! And so i will. go ahead... call me crazy. Anyway, i digress.

In attempt to motivate me to write without risking a loss of enthusiasm i have created a game. And here is where you, my dear readers, can help. All you need to do is tell me which "blogs" i should take from the mental form to the written form and hopefully finally to the published form. Here are few of topics floating around in my head....

a kiss that actually meant something
i'm more than just a pretty face
Thoughts on traveling alone
the circle of life
there is no such thing as a free meal
a little rough around the edges
pics from brits wedding
head to head: youth summit vs efy
weddings = bad luck
Bandy-legged
hot-air balloons, parachutes and sunsets
ornery vs cranky


thats a good list to start off with! yes, i know some of them are vague, thats what keeps it interesting! please vote on which ones you'd like me to blog about first. remember... its a game! it will be fun! haha.

peace!

do you need a personal invitation?

Growing up my mom would usually call us for dinner "kids, dinners ready" and then wait and wait and wait for all of us to show up. Since there are only three of us, it shouldn't have taken terribly long (especially since we all like food) but some nights we were slower than slow. It was at that point that she would say "Kirsten (or david or tyler) do you need a personal invitation to dinner?" And then we would grudgingly leave whatever we were doing that was so important and join the rest of the fam.

I haven't thought about this exchange in years! but today at church we were discussing different ways in which we can help personalize our church to individual members. One of the members of the bishopric said something that i thought was really wise. He said that often times we make lots of announcements to the ward or relief society and thats great, but sometimes there are people who need a personal invitation. Its so true! I've realized lately that i've fallen into that crowd and i've shyed away from participating is some things simply because i never got a personal invitation (or two or three). I don't like that I'm needy like that, but i am. (at least for the time being) and this attitude transfers over to other aspects of my life as well. I'm so passive at times that i don't want to impose on anyone unless i am CERTAIN that they want me to.

Just an interesting observation i made at church today.

but hey, guess what?! i will blog more soon! hopefully today! be excited!

xoxo

how to please the computer gods

So, i work a lot with computers and i've become pretty good at fixing them. And by "good at fixing them" i mean.... i've learned that for most computers in the library a simple reboot will cure most problems. Unfortunately the computer at my home isn't quite as nice. and by "quite as nice" i mean.... it is from the stone age and works slower than slow. My parents, bless their hearts, aren't really in to the whole "Technology-age" and so it doesn't really bother them. My mom spends her day at work on a computer and apparently gets her fix that way. My father is slowly learning but lets just say that with a slow computer his learning speed is also very very slow. That being said, i guess it shouldn't really have surprised me to learn that the computer wasn't connecting to the internet and had become more of a decoration than a useful tool. Upon further inquiry i learned that no one knew exactly what was wrong with it AND no one seemed to care. Now, the sad commentary on my life is that i was going crazy without it. I didn't know what to do in my free time and felt disconnected from my "real life" you know, the life that lives inside the computer. I couldn't live without it....something had to be done! I decided to try my hand at fixing the computer. I played around with it for a little while but to no avail. Finally i decided... what if i just reboot it. This is when the fun began.

While i was waiting for it to reboot i resorted to wasting time on my brothers laptop. And although his laptop couldn't connect to the internet, it did have the classic solitaire games to entertain me. As the desktop was rebooting it decided it needed to run some sort of diagnostic test.... a "simple" test that took about half an hour to complete. It was during this time that i convinced myself that my ability to succeed at the solitaire games was directly correlated to the speed and success at which the computer would function. And so i started... i beat a game of normal solitaire, and then a game of spider solitaire and then finally a game of free cell. Now, i kid you not. The exact moment i finished my game of free cell i looked up and saw, much to my astonishment, the desktop computer with a connected internet page! It had just finished loading and was ready for me! Of course, it still runs slower than slow but at least i got it connected. So, let the lesson be learned that in order to please the computer gods you just have to show them you are smart enough to beat their games. it works. for reals. (either that or God was just blessing me with games to occupy my time and attention while i had to wait for the computer... either, or.)

unfortunately all of that didn't teach me much patience .... for as i soon became frustrated with trying to do anything that involved waiting for pages to load. oh well.. you can't win every battle.

Its now after midnight portland time which makes it way past my bedtime in utah.
time. for. bed.

feels like home....

I'm in Portland! yay! I love the feeling of coming home and being back here. Its the little things, like showering in my own bathroom, that make it feel like the good ole days. Its funny how i left to go to college three years ago with the intention of finding myself and now i realize, that although i have grown a lot and found out a lot about myself, that i really am the same person i have always been. Its easy to get lost at BYU and become an incomplete version of myself so it's nice to come back home and reconnect with myself. I think i mentioned in a previous blog that when it rained in utah i could breath again. Thats exactly how i feel here in portland. The weather is overcast and there is the familiar scent of moisture in the air and i can breath, both literally and figuratively. its great! Everyone should move to oregon! wait. no. that could be bad. but everyone should at least experience the great northwest in all its beauty!! random thought... did you know that the church once bought land in oregon with the intentions to build a school? They ended up building a temple instead (which is beautiful!!!) but just think of how different life would be if BYU was in oregon? I'm not sure i'd like that so much, come to think of it. but ya never know.

So, I'm beginning to realize how busy i'll be these next few days. Brittany's wedding is on saturday and i've offered to help with as much as i can before then. We went shopping today for a gift for rob and some last minute accessories for the bridesmaids (that's me!). Brittany is so done making decisions that i'm glad i can be there to at least help her talk through things. Then tonight my family wants to go see the new Emma movie, i'm not too interested in it, but they are excited that a churchy movie has come to "the big screens" in portland. Then tomorrow i get to go shopping with one of the other bridesmaids, then help get things set up for the reception (brit says we are tying ribbons on chairs... sounds fun!) and visit with one of my friends from here who just had a baby! Friday we get our nails done, then i'm babysitting for all the lil chillins' while brit goes to the temple (i'm bringing my brother along so i don't have to do anything that might ruin my nails... like changing dirty diapers! haha) then we have a dinner for the wedding party and we'll end the night with the awesome bachelorette party that we are throwing. Saturday is of course the wedding....pictures at the temple, a light lunch, more pictures, dinner/dancing and the sort. Brittany says she has a whole list of things that we, the bridesmaids, are to be doing at the dinner/dance so that will be fun. I'm just so excited!!! ya for weddings. i love love.

So i'm at the public library because our internet isn't working at my home. Its kinda frustrating, but what can ya do. I have much more i want to say. thoughts on traveling, aging, horoscopes, ice cream, characteristics, hot air balloons etc. Basically anything and everything that went through my head the last day. hopefully i'll find some time to get all those thoughts down. I'll post pics of the festivities, but that may have to wait until i'm back in provo. Until then, this will have to do.

to all my provo friends... don't miss me too much!
much love!

my exploits as of late

exploit: An act or deed, especially a brilliant or heroic one

Well, i'm far from heroic, but I AM brilliant! so it works, right!?

My first brilliant act from this last week has been the creation of a new tutorial for the library. Not only did i outline the idea, write out the script and create the visuals (using really amazing pictures that my coworker drew). I'm also one of the voices and the director and the editor of the videos. Yeah, i'd say i'm leaving a pretty good mark at the library. Its been crazy trying to meet all the deadlines, but i think we are doing excellent!

After spending all day friday recording i needed a break! Rebecca and I went to see Vantage Point at the dollar theater. It was good and engaging enough to keep my mind off of life for long enough to enjoy the movie. I bought a bag full of jelly belly's to enjoy during the movie and enjoy them i did! I'm a sucker for those things where you can choose your own flavors and fill up the bag! Unfortunately i ate far too many (especially after not eating much for dinner).

Saturday I was pleasantly surprised to get a call from my brother inviting me to come play fugitive with him. Having only played fugitive once in my life, i was apprehensive about the whole thing and worried i wouldn't have fun. but..i did! And the what fun would night games be if we didn't get "a talkin' to" by the cops. We didn't get in trouble, but we did get the attention of two cop cars. pretty cool, eh?

Sunday started off rough but ended on a good note. After sleeping for...well...all day, I went over to my old stomping grounds in sparks and par-tayed it up with Al and Jessie. That night away was exactly what I needed and lifted my spirits alot. yay for awesome friends!

focusing on the sunshine

I got home from church, and true to my addition, i had to check my e-mail, google reader and facebook. I received no new e-mails, which is actually a good thing because the only e-mails i receive are usually related to work and today is my day off. There was one new blog that i read, thanks al for entertaining me. And one interesting update on face book. I noticed that one of my friends updated his status to say he "is working on himself." I stopped to think about this status for a minute and realized that we should be working on ourself always. So here i am, ready to work on myself by reflecting on what i (re)learned at church today.

I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head the last few days. And before church i was thinking about how annoying (yeah, thats a good word) it is that my thoughts/feelings could change so dramatically so often. I could be perfectly content one moment just to find myself on the verge of tears the next. In sacrament meeting there was a strong focus on realizing and recognizing all of blessings, even in times of pain and heartache. This helped, but it wasn't until i was sitting in relief society that i realized that although my thoughts had been all over the place, they did share one thing in common. They were all overwhelmingly negative. (okay, not all, but for the most part) I had been focusing on the negative and letting my mind wander deeper and deeper inside this pit of negativity. Despite the encouragement of everyone who i talked to, i was subconsciously refusing to embrace the positive for what it was. I think this attitude played a large part in why our relief society lesson was so meaningful to me today. In addition, i have been thinking a lot lately about how i need to be less sarcastic and focus more on recognizing the good in others and actually pointing what i notice out. The lesson seemed to be perfect for me.

The presidency lesson was focused on the monumental talk that Elder Holland gave (a year ago i believe) entitled "The Tongue of Angels." Here are the goals I made ( hopefully writing them down will motivate me to work more on them)

1) Decrease negative thoughts- i tend to make lists in my head, and lists full of negative things are harmful to say the least.
2) Talk more highly about myself- when i'm insecure about something, i'll joke about it. and so it follows that i would joke about myself at times. unfortunately even jokes can be harmful.

These first two relate together perfectly for one of my favorite quotes from this talk "We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable." I want to search out the sunshine, the roses and the hope and happiness that God has promised me.

3) Decrease sarcastic/bitting comments- again, even though they are jokes most of the time does not mean they are okay.
4) Pray to know what to say instead of the sarcastic bitting remarks- i need to work on this especially at times when i am upset
5) Practice nurturing others (so that i can nurture my future children)- positive words can lift someone up in a world where everything else in trying to tear them down.

These last three relate back to Elder Holland's counsel that we should help others "escape our culture's obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are 'enough.'" I want to help others and myself escape this obsession because it really is detrimental.

I'm excited for this chance i've been given to start anew and work on these goals. And I'm excited to see what God will make of me if i let him