I got home from church, and true to my addition, i had to check my e-mail, google reader and facebook. I received no new e-mails, which is actually a good thing because the only e-mails i receive are usually related to work and today is my day off. There was one new blog that i read, thanks al for entertaining me. And one interesting update on face book. I noticed that one of my friends updated his status to say he "is working on himself." I stopped to think about this status for a minute and realized that we should be working on ourself always. So here i am, ready to work on myself by reflecting on what i (re)learned at church today.
I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head the last few days. And before church i was thinking about how annoying (yeah, thats a good word) it is that my thoughts/feelings could change so dramatically so often. I could be perfectly content one moment just to find myself on the verge of tears the next. In sacrament meeting there was a strong focus on realizing and recognizing all of blessings, even in times of pain and heartache. This helped, but it wasn't until i was sitting in relief society that i realized that although my thoughts had been all over the place, they did share one thing in common. They were all overwhelmingly negative. (okay, not all, but for the most part) I had been focusing on the negative and letting my mind wander deeper and deeper inside this pit of negativity. Despite the encouragement of everyone who i talked to, i was subconsciously refusing to embrace the positive for what it was. I think this attitude played a large part in why our relief society lesson was so meaningful to me today. In addition, i have been thinking a lot lately about how i need to be less sarcastic and focus more on recognizing the good in others and actually pointing what i notice out. The lesson seemed to be perfect for me.
The presidency lesson was focused on the monumental talk that Elder Holland gave (a year ago i believe) entitled "The Tongue of Angels." Here are the goals I made ( hopefully writing them down will motivate me to work more on them)
1) Decrease negative thoughts- i tend to make lists in my head, and lists full of negative things are harmful to say the least.
2) Talk more highly about myself- when i'm insecure about something, i'll joke about it. and so it follows that i would joke about myself at times. unfortunately even jokes can be harmful.
These first two relate together perfectly for one of my favorite quotes from this talk "We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable." I want to search out the sunshine, the roses and the hope and happiness that God has promised me.
3) Decrease sarcastic/bitting comments- again, even though they are jokes most of the time does not mean they are okay.
4) Pray to know what to say instead of the sarcastic bitting remarks- i need to work on this especially at times when i am upset
5) Practice nurturing others (so that i can nurture my future children)- positive words can lift someone up in a world where everything else in trying to tear them down.
These last three relate back to Elder Holland's counsel that we should help others "escape our culture's obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are 'enough.'" I want to help others and myself escape this obsession because it really is detrimental.
I'm excited for this chance i've been given to start anew and work on these goals. And I'm excited to see what God will make of me if i let him
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6 comments:
Thank you so much for your post Kirsten, it was just what I need to hear and work on too... I really believe that if we make an effort to work for those goals, we'll feel a lot better. I love and I'm glad we got to have an off the hook par-tay last night...
I loved that talk by Elder Holland, and not just because I'm an English major and he was talking about the importance of words. It's so true that we can always be improving ourselves--good luck with your goals. :)
hey chica i like your goals! they are things that pretty much everyone needs to work on constantly. you are amazing! Aren't Sundays the BEST!!!
that's awesome kirsten! what great goals to have. from experience, a person's attitude very much shapes a lot about their life. good luck!
We all think negatively of ourselves at one point or another (mostly - only the sith speak in absolutes, you know, so i hesitate somewhat). Here's what I learned from this blog: you mentioned several things you find fault with yourself over. None of them are traits I would ever ascribe to you if asked to describe you. In fact, I think you are amazingly awesome. Really, I do. But I'm sure you look at these things and really feel distress over them. I still think you're awesome, no matter how faulty you think you are. So if I can see you in this light, why in the world would I be unable to grasp this same concept in reference to myself? Sure, there are things about myself that I consider to be great faults, of inexscusable magnitute, even. But if I can see that you are awesome despite and in some ways even because of these things, then why shouldn't I let myself think of myself as awesome too?
I have this great desire to really know myself, and a fear of not knowing myself as well as others konw me. As a result in part of this, I tend to be pretty hard on myself sometimes. Ironically, this act of being too hard on myself causes me to misjudge myself and as a result not allow myself to recognize me for all that I am, and thus not know myself and cause the very thing I fear. We make our lives so ironic sometimes. Good thing we can always change.
also, you've inspired me. i'm printing off elder holland's talk right now.
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